Why Most Returns Are Your Fault (And How to Fix Them Before They Happen)

Kyle Olmstead
18 hours ago
4 min read

Confused buyers return products. Here’s how pre-shipment guidance, onboarding, and transformational messaging can turn returns into loyalty.

Let’s be honest. Most returns aren’t about the product. They’re about the story—or lack thereof—that surrounds it.

And here’s my hot take: if you’re seeing high return rates, you’re probably scaring your customers…without even realizing it.

Yeah. Ouch. But stick with me.

Returns are expensive. Friction-filled. And worse—they kill repeat buyers faster than a 2-for-1 coupon disappears in a cart. Yet most brands treat returns like a logistics problem. Wrong. They’re a communication problem.

Here’s the brutal truth: people return what they don’t understand. Or worse, what they bought while half-asleep scrolling Instagram.

Step 1: Pre-Shipment Guidance (aka The “I Got You” Moment)

Imagine buying a fancy blender online. You’re excited. It arrives. And…you realize you have no idea how to assemble it, or worse, whether it even fits on your countertop. Panic sets in. Returns incoming.

Here’s where pre-shipment guidance works magic:

Expectation Setting: Short, friendly “what to expect” emails or guides. Not 3-page manuals—think quick tips or one-minute video demos.
Tiny Wins Before They Open the Box: “Unboxing tips,” “best first uses,” or a checklist that makes the first interaction delightful instead of confusing.
Visual Proof: Hypothetical example: a brand selling smart fitness gear could send a quick GIF showing correct strap placement or app pairing. Suddenly, confusion plummets, satisfaction soars.

Takeaway: A little guidance before the box even hits their doorstep reduces “oops” moments and turns first impressions into a story buyers want to continue.

Step 2: Onboarding Content (Turn Buyers Into “I Can’t Live Without It” Fans)

Buying isn’t the finish line—it’s the start of the relationship.

Education Emails: Start simple. “3 ways to get the most from your product this week.” Think small, actionable tips that make your customer feel smart and competent.
Step-by-Step Guides: No one reads manuals. But they will engage with snackable onboarding content delivered via email, SMS, or in-app notifications.
Identity-Driven Messaging: Here’s where the magic happens. Instead of “use this blender for 3 smoothies a day,” try something like, “You’re now officially part of the home-chef revolution—your mornings just got upgraded.”

Hypothetical example: You sell weighted blankets. A quick onboarding series could be:

“Set the mood for the best sleep ever.”
“5 ways to use your blanket for stress relief.”
“Share your #CozyWins moment—join the sleep tribe.”

Notice the subtle transformational messaging? They’re not just buying a blanket—they’re becoming someone who sleeps better, feels calmer, and belongs to a community.

Step 3: Educational Emails That Reduce Post-Purchase Friction

Here’s where most brands drop the ball.

After checkout, silence. Or worse—generic “thanks for your order” emails.

Instead, use the power of education:

Quick Tips: Bite-sized instructions or hacks.
Problem-Solving Content: “How to avoid common issues.” Think FAQ but human, not robotic.
Gamification & Fun: “Did you know your new gadget can do this?” Sneak in a playful challenge to make learning fun.

Hypothetical scenario: A brand selling high-tech kettlebells could email:

“3 moves you probably haven’t tried yet.”
“Avoid common swinging mistakes.”
“Track your progress and show off.”

Boom—returns drop. Engagement skyrockets. And your customers feel smart, capable, and supported.

Step 4: Transformational Messaging (The Secret Sauce)

Here’s where the pros separate themselves from the amateurs.

Transformational messaging isn’t marketing fluff. It’s identity-driven, emotionally resonant, and loyalty-inducing.

Why does it work? Because humans don’t just buy products. They buy:

A better version of themselves
A community they want to belong to
Proof that they made a smart choice

Hypothetical example: Let’s say you sell eco-friendly activewear. Instead of “Our leggings are sweat-proof,” try: “You’re now part of the movement that refuses to compromise—style, comfort, or planet. Welcome to your new active lifestyle.”

Suddenly, a return isn’t just a package going back. It’s a potential rejection of an identity. And guess what? Identity-driven buyers return less.

Step 5: Why This Actually Saves You Money

Let’s do the mental math without putting you to sleep:

Cost of a single return (shipping, restocking, potential lost sale): $15–$50+
Cost of educating a buyer pre- and post-purchase: a few well-crafted emails, videos, or guides
Result? Return rates plummet. Customer satisfaction rises. Repeat purchase probability goes through the roof.

It’s the classic “spend a little to save a lot” scenario. But also, it makes your brand look like a thought leader, not just a store.

Step 6: How To Do This Without Annoying Your Customers

Short & Sweet: 2–3 sentences per email, a single GIF or image. Make it skimmable.
Human Voice: No corporate jargon. Talk like you’re helping a friend.
Hypothetical Storytelling: “Here’s what I’d do if I were you…” or “Imagine opening your box like this…”
Humor & Personality: Light sarcasm or witty observations make content stick.

Trust me—people read, they engage, they feel seen. And the best part? They buy again.

Step 7: A Little Secret About Loyalty

Here’s the kicker. Reducing returns isn’t just about saving money—it’s a subtle way to build lifelong fans.

Why? Because when you:

Teach your buyers
Guide them through success
Speak to their identity

…you make them feel smart, capable, and proud. And proud customers don’t just keep products. They keep buying. They share. They advocate.

It’s retention disguised as education. Returns disguised as transformation.

Quick Recap: How to Reduce Returns Without Friction

Pre-shipment guidance: Reduce confusion before it starts.
Onboarding content: Help customers succeed immediately.
Educational emails: Solve problems before they escalate.
Transformational messaging: Turn buyers into advocates, not just customers.
Short, human, witty content: Make learning fun, skimmable, and memorable.

At the end of the day, it’s all about guiding, teaching, and entertaining your buyers—so they actually want to keep the products they bought.

Because let’s face it: returns are expensive, stressful, and a loyalty killer.

But a few well-placed messages can flip the whole game.

So here’s my question for you: if your returns could drop 20–30% by just rethinking your post-purchase communication, what would that mean for your business—and how quickly would you start doing it?

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